Helpful Picture Books on Death and Grief: Part 1
Losing a loved one is perhaps one of the hardest things we experience in life, and unfortunately, it's something everyone will experience at some point in their lives. As an adult, I've struggled with the loss of loved ones, which has led me to have a greater interest in books that address death for children. I can say that these books have helped me as an adult cope and move forward with the loss of my loved ones, as well as help me find the words to talk about death with my own children. The following list has been in the process for years, and these are the best books I have found so far that take on the topic of death.
Because of the length of this book collection, I have decided to break it up into two lists. In this first part, I have included books that talk about the concepts of death and grief. For the second part, I will be breaking down books into specific categories of loss to help you quickly find books that relate to your need. Please pick and choose which one(s) you think will make the best match for your reader and situation.
Most of the books I choose do not shy away from talking about death but bring it up as a matter of fact. As adults, we tend to want to shield children from harsh realities; however, this can create a lot of confusion, difficulty understanding and can lead to a loss of trust. You don't need to go through an in-depth explanation, either. Using simple language to address the issue while briefly answering questions works great. Most of the stories I'm sharing in this list do not discuss beliefs in the afterlife. Being that afterlife ties with death closely; you can easily connect this into your conversation with your reader.
If you're here because you or someone you know has lost a loved one, I am so sorry. My love goes out to you. I hope you find a book(s) on my list today to help you cope and open up conversations during this difficult time.
**Tip: If you would feel more comfortable sharing one of these by having someone else read it, some of these books have been read aloud by someone on YouTube. You can look up the book, watch it one time without the kids, and then one time together, talking about it afterward. Or have another family member or friend read the book aloud to share with kids.
Overview on Death
Lifetimes: The Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Children
by Bryan Mellonie, illustrated by Robert Ingpen
This a helpful read to help calm some of the anxiety-producing uncertainty surrounding death by using simplicity and giving kids some knowledge about lifetimes in a way they can relate to and understand. This book states throughout its pages that all living things go through their own lifetimes. Lifetimes in that all living things have a beginning and an ending with living happening between them. How long do things live? Do they always die if they're ill? Do insects have lifetimes? All these questions and more are addressed by using the concept of lifetimes to help explain.
Something Very Sad Happened: A Toddler's Guide to Understanding Death
by Bonnie Zucker, illustrated by Kim Fleming
I love this one for sharing with very young readers for its simplicity. The grandma has died in this story, and the mom and child work together on moving forward, explaining what death is and the different ways they feel. It ends on a sweet note that love cannot die, and there's a helpful guide for caregivers in the back.
The Grief Rock: A Book to Understand Grief and Love
by Natasha Daniels, illustrated by Lily Fossett
A rock is a metaphor for grief in this story that explains what grief can feel like after someone you love dies. This book is a perfect read to share as a conversation starter about challenging feelings you might face after losing a loved one. I love the ending of this one that explains that the grief rock is filled with all our love for that loved one.
The Memory Box: A Book About Grief
by Joanna Rowland, illustrated by Thea Baker
A girl addresses herself and a loved, close figure who died throughout this story. She worries that she will forget the loved one and comes up with an idea to keep her cherished person close by making a Memory Box collecting all the treasured memories they shared. The girl shares some of her feelings about her loss, but most of the book is focused on ideas to bring about some healing and moving forward. Well done and lovely.
The Invisible String
by Patrice Karst, Illustrated by Geoff Stevenson
"You don't need to see the Invisible String. People who love each other are always connected by a very special String made of love." Simple premise is woven throughout a story explaining that even though you might not be physically with a loved one, you will always be connected by a special invisible string made of love. The string connects parents at work and children at school, people on the other side of the world, in space, and can even reach Heaven. It is a lovely way to approach topics of separation anxiety and even death with young children. A reminder of how we are all connected by the love we share with one another, even if we're not together at the moment.
Questions and Feelings About: When Someone Dies
by Dawn Hewitt, illustrated by Ximena Jeria
This book is filled with simple text truth statements, like ones about growing and changing and activities humans do. It also contains statements about how people might feel when someone special dies. It brings up fault, making a great conversation starter if needed, as well as different ways people mourn and helpful ways to cope. I love the straightforward and honest insight for kids and the engaging questions presented every couple of pages.
The Tiny Star
by Mem Fox, illustrated by Freya Blackwood
A different and beautiful way of telling about a person's lifetime: starting by saying a tiny star fell from the sky and turned into a baby, immediately loved by the people who found it. The story shows the star growing bigger and then smaller again as it grows older until it eventually disappears and is once again spotted up in the sky. The people who love the star are comforted, knowing the star will always watch over them.
A Last Goodbye
by Elin Kelsey, illustrated by Soyeon Kim
This story tells of different ways different animals say goodbye. Elephants wrap their trunks around those dying and visit burial sites. Orcas help those dying to get their last breaths and travel long distances to say goodbye. Chimps make soft bedding, hold hands, and lie beside their loved ones. It's interesting and, at the same time, provides a level of comfort and soothing. It brings up how these animals that passed contributed to the world and what those they left behind might be thinking/doing. Humans aren't the focal part of this story, and in a way, that has the potential to be more comforting when reading because you don't need to relate directly. Beautiful share of the love that comes with death in nature.
The Dead Bird
by Margaret Wise Brown, illustrated by Christian Robinson
This book is excellent because it frankly addresses death, shows kids as the main characters, and shows how they process the death, through play, through acting out a funeral and mourning. This might seem strange to adults, but play is what kids use to help make sense of the world, helping them process new information. Play is very beneficial to learning language, social skills, regulate emotions, and cope with stress. Four friends and their dog are playing together in the park when they come across a dead bird. The book tells how the kids knew it was dead with no heartbeat. The children feel sorry and decide to have a funeral for the bird, like grown-ups do when someone dies. They make a grave, sing a song, cry, make a tombstone, and plant flowers on the grave. A sweet and tender book showing kids helping and processing death.
A Garden of Creatures
by Sheila Heti, illustrations by Esme Shapiro
"Life is glad to have known all of the creatures who came here. Everything that has ever lived leaves their traces on the earth. And the heart keeps forever what it once loved."
After a dream about a toast-colored bunny who had died, the little bunny asks her older friend cat questions about death. They are common questions and comments, and the cat responds gently.
Rabbit and the Motorbike
by Kate Hoefler, illustrated by Sarah Jacoby
Rabbit loves hearing Dog's stories of his adventures on his motorbike. One day Dog is gone and never returns. (It is implied he died, but you may need to clarify this to kids reading.) Dog left Rabbit his motorbike. Rabbit is unsure exactly what to do with it, as he preferred hearing stories to going on his own adventures. Eventually, he tests it out and can feel/remember Dog as he rides the motorbike.
Cry, Heat, But Never Break
by Glenn Ringtved, illustrated by Charlotte Pardi
This story helps us say goodbye to loved ones and view death as a natural part of life. Four children try to keep a visitor, Death, from seeing their beloved grandmother. When Death starts to go to their grandmother, one of the kids stops him and asks why he has to take their dear grandmother. Death tells a story of brothers, Sorrow and Grief, and sisters, Joy and Delight. He describes how they needed one another to feel full and satisfied. Death then relates the story to life: "What would life be worth if there were no death?" After visiting their grandmother, Death imparts the children one last bit of wisdom: "Cry, Heart, but never break. Let your tears of grief and sadness help begin a new life." I love how Death is portrayed as a kind friend instead of evil or scary. Death helps make love and joy that much more real and felt.
Michael Rosen’s SAD BOOK
by Michael Rosen, illustrated by Quentin Blake
The author puts his grief and sadness into words, the dark that is around from his son Eddie and his mum having died. He describes the all-encompassing sadness so well if you have experienced a close loss, you're sure to relate to the struggles the sadness from loss brings about. It is not all doom and gloom, though. There are happy memories of his son and mum shared and things he loves from being alive. I could see some great discussions coming from this one and a feeling of relating; I'm not the only one.
The following books do not mention death but might be helpful with strong feelings that come with the loss of a loved one
Grief is an Elephant
by Tamara Ellis Smith, illustrated by Nancy Whitesides
When Grief first arrives, it is as large and all encompassing as an elephant. Over time, Grief becomes smaller and smaller, changing from a deer to a fox to a mouse to eventually a firefly. In the end the firefly lights the darkness and reminds us of love. No mention of death, so it could relate to various grieving scenarios.
The Goodbye Book
by Todd Parr
Usually, for books about topics like death, I prefer to share books that feature people characters, making a complex subject easier to relate to for kids. Todd Parr always does a wonderful job relating to kids in his stories, which will intrigue kids and might be the one they connect the most with personally. This book does not mention death and focuses more on just goodbye, but it could be interpreted as a permanent goodbye. A fish in a bowl is the main character throughout, and it describes all the different feelings that come about from having to say goodbye to someone/some fish you love. Easy clear pages that you could stop at and talk about further if needed.
When Sadness Is at Your Door
by Eva Eland
Relates sadness to being a person or being that is with you sometimes. I love this book because it explains sadness in an easy way to connect to and understand, as well as ideas on coping with it.
I’m Sad
by Michael Ian Black, illustrated by Debbie Ridpath Ohi
Flamingo tells his friends, the girl, and Potato, that he's feeling sad. They listen to Flamingo's thoughts and questions and respond genuinely. After pausing after talking together, the girl and Potato decide Flamingo needs cheering up. They each share their favorite things. The favorite things end up not cheering Flamingo up, but in the end, they all decide they're ok with Flamingo and support him just as he is right now. Great for accepting and working through feelings and being a good friend.
Hearts From Heaven
by Rachel Prohaska, illustrated by Jessica Siefert
This book is about learning to look for God's love during difficult days. It's about love, peace, and comfort, which is excellent year-round, especially when you need extra assurance of love. All the heart images included in this book are true findings of hearts just out and about around the author's city—a lovely invitation for readers to go out and look for hearts themselves.
The Rabbit Listened
by Cori Doerrfeld
Taylor makes a spectacular block creation, and it gets destroyed. All sorts of animals come in to tell him how he should handle this problem. It's not until he's left alone that the rabbit comes in and is empathetic and listens to Taylor that he finally opens up. The wording is shorter but very engaging. The illustrations are simple but can show all the different emotions portrayed. This book highlights something important we all need, someone who will stay and emphatically listen when we're going through a rough time.
A broad perspective on missing someone or something with vague wording means that this story can accommodate readers who have lost a loved one, have a loved one who moved, or have something you don't see for some time. I love the underlying message of love continuing and the pretty illustrations.
When Things Are Hard, Remember
by Joanna Rowland, illustrated by Marcela Calderon
Not about death, but about challenging times like moving. There is an analogy relating a seed and nature's winter to spring season to going through a difficult period. If books about death are too challenging, this might be a wonderful share.
